For the last two weeks I have jotted down micro-stories that I planned to compile into a blog post. Hasn’t happened yet. I am thinking that these micro-stories might eventually be the quips to throw up on Twitter, but I am not wise enough to know that or master the 140-characters-thing yet.
What I do know is that I need to get them out of my head to clear up the space they have occupied. And so I can throw away all the gosh darn sticky notes that are flying all over the place.
- My son hung a snowman Christmas decoration on the door to our laundry shoot. I never would have decorated that knob in a million years. But its fit for his height, so obviously it made sense to him. Genius idea, I thought, even though I would have vetoed any adult from putting a decoration in such a place. My daughter added two more. Best decorators ever. (I know, I know Christmas is over, but I had to get it out).
- In early December my husband went to a surplus store and bought me a second monitor. BEST surprise present ever because it means he totally believes in me and my writing and supports what I am doing, on top of taking care of our kids. Means everything to me. It’s the first “second monitor” I have ever had. Which sounds weird. But what I am trying to say is that, at my last job (university) five years ago (before motherhood) I didn’t even have two monitors. I feel super professional in my little home office.
- A few weeks ago, I was getting ready for my evening yoga class and realized that putting on my yoga pants was a step UP from what I had worn all day (pajama pants). Aren’t yoga pants the lowest, yet acceptable, standard uniform of a stay-at-home-mom? Yeah not feeling so professional any more.
- I went shopping on Christmas Eve this year, and like an idiot, bought a few last-minute presents. It was stressful, and it made Christmas all the more stressful for me. Never again. The Christmas overkill, that is overwhelming (to me), in all the stores wreaked havoc on my brain this year. Next year, I am going to shop in the first week of December and avoid all retail stores until after Christmas. That’ll show ’em.
- I bought a pair of socks in October that say, “I gave a fuck once.” Yeah… so… they are kind of special. I was tempted to put them on after my Christmas Eve retail anxiety attack, but all I could see was Baby Jesus’ face, so I had to hide them from myself.
- Man. I knew Christmas wasn’t that great for me this year, and this is kind of ridiculous that I am making all these Christmas references, but it’s kind of like the Fuck You Christmas post. An epilogue if you will. Not that 2015 was entirely awful – it wasn’t – but it did go up in smoke.
- A saving grace is that it was a super Christmas for my kids. That’s all that matters to me at this stage in life anyway. Plus, I just know the next one will be merrier. I can feel it.
- My friend got pulled over by a cop last week. It was 9:30 a.m. and he asked her if she was drinking. “Umm no,” she said, “I am sleep-deprived and nursing a baby (as she gestured to the back seat).” He had no further questions.
- I am tossing my sticky notes in the trash left and right here. Feeling good!
- On New Year’s Day last year, I remember backing out of a parking space at Target right into the bumper of another car backing out of a parking space. The other driver and I jumped out of our cars and met at the scene. No damage. No contest. “Happy New Year,” we yelled to each other before getting back in our cars and driving away. It was a strange way to start the new year. I still can’t put my finger on it, but it was strange.
- On New Year’s Day this year, I went for a morning run. It was not strange, and thankfully did not involve retail, which is sort of becoming my 2016 enemy.
- Our Christmas tree is still up, and it’s funny because I am finally starting to enjoy it. We’ll leave it up until tomorrow for Epiphany.
- Now if that’s not a prelude for a new season, I don’t know what is.
- I listened to a podcast from Dear Sugar Radio this morning. It was an old one – in fact, the first one ever recorded in December 2014. I am hooked. I just love advice givers and seekers.
- (Cue abrupt ending).