Today was a shitty day.
This morning was fine but it went south when I started to let some negative emotions creep in after lunch. From there my mind starting flitting in all directions. I decided I needed to do something to distract myself so I thought I know, I’ll download my Christmas playlist onto my phone so I can listen to Christmas music while I go about my day.
I ended up accidentally messing up a bunch of things on my phone (not worth my energy getting into). That mishap was all it took to put me over the edge, that led me to eventually crying to a friend. The phone thing was the tipping point and set me off and left me feeling drained and unbalanced. From there more and more and more and more negative energy seeped in with regard to many aspects of my life. And what’s frustrating is that my life has been pretty smooth lately. Nonetheless I was hating on myself and saying very mean things about myself to myself. Ha.
I managed to fix most of the mess on my phone thanks to the Apple. It did take up a good part of my afternoon and was extremely stressful, but everything is mostly back in working order. Somehow I got dinner on the table and kept the kids in a reasonable line.
Until during dinner when all hell broke loose. One of us crying. Another yelling. One of us instigating. Another speaking in a forced calm voice.
We all ate, and though my life felt completely disorderly, I ran out of the kitchen back to my bedroom to change for yoga. In the process I was able to pull up a Christmas song on my phone through iCloud. Andrea Bocelli. Angels We Have Heard On High. I momentarily forgot about my shitty day and listened and let his powerful voice, singing in Italian, fill my ears.
Then I went to yoga.
Breath in, breath out, stretch, listen to the instructor, close my eyes, unleash negativity from my body, let the joy in, relax, be nice to yourself, let go, trust the process of getting through shitty days.
During class I started feeling better. I started feeling like I wanted to salvage my day. So that’s what I am doing for this next bit of awake time this evening. I am salvaging.
And though today was not great, that’s ok. Not all days are. That’s what keeps us working for tomorrow.
My yoga instructor ended class by saying, “Life is like an echo. You get back what you put into the world.”
Her words are a good reminder and make me want to try harder tomorrow. To be nicer to myself. To make good choices. To get up. Dust off. Regroup. Not let the negativity in. Be better. Stay focused on health and family.