It’s a little weird, this lack of writing over the summer. Good I think, but still a little strange. I’ve been pretty carefree about it. Taking a step back was a personal choice. I have plans to pick back up with projects in the fall, but decided that summer was a time to regroup. What’s funny is that not writing hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be. Last week I realized why. Because I am healthy!! For the most part at least. I still have my swings and periods when I am completely off-balance, but I am so aware of it and what I can do to counter it. I am more forgiving of myself during these times too. That helps. But not feeling the need to write is eye-opening because writing is just as much a coping mechanism for me as it is a hobby/trade.
Historically I have been a consistent runner. The running began when I was in high school, not long distances but enough. I ran on and off in college and after. Got away from it for a bit, only running very occasionally. Not enough to be in great shape. Those were the smoking days. Eventually I told myself, Look you are either going to be a smoker or a runner. You can’t be both. I made the right choice.
Email and recipes have nothing to do with each other, but I am going to touch on both in the post because I am too lazy to write separate posts and both topics are demanding written attention.
In going through some papers in my office I found a giant sticky note where I listed my 2016 resolutions. All two of them.
Today was a shitty day.
This morning was fine but it went south when I started to let some negative emotions creep in after lunch. From there my mind starting flitting in all directions. I decided I needed to do something to distract myself so I thought I know, I’ll download my Christmas playlist onto my phone so I can listen to Christmas music while I go about my day.
I ended up accidentally messing up a bunch of things on my phone (not worth my energy getting into). That mishap was all it took to put me over the edge, that led me to eventually crying to a friend. The phone thing was the tipping point and set me off and left me feeling drained and unbalanced. From there more and more and more and more negative energy seeped in with regard to many aspects of my life. And what’s frustrating is that my life has been pretty smooth lately. Nonetheless I was hating on myself and saying very mean things about myself to myself. Ha.
I’ve thought a lot lately about my priorities. Besides all the normal ones like my family, my health, my sanity, etc… I’m trying to not only find what is most important to me, but to live by those things and focus on only a few priorities and limit all the other “noise” that litters our information overloaded society. (And my head).
The clock is ticking.
So much to do, so much to catch up on, so many new thoughts flooding my brain.
I’ve been in waiting for the last few weeks. Waiting until I got my kids settled in school. We’re almost there.
That means freeeeeeeeedom for me. At least a little bit.